Sunday, November 24, 2013

Emotional Roller Coaster

I meant to post this yesterday (Saturday)...

I've had an emotional 24 hours! Last night I realized that I only had enough medication to get through Monday morning and evening. When I was in yesterday, they asked if I had enough medication to make it through the weekend. I told them that yes, I did, and what I had left. They thought that sounded fine. Then, I started to realize (after the pharmacy had closed) that if I ordered medication on Monday, I would not get it on Tuesday in time for my 6:30 a.m. shot. So, I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was trying not to worry, but sometimes it can seem overwhelming. 

So, this morning I had my blood draw and ultrasound. As we were driving in, Chad and I were talking about how I could get rid of the anxiety. Chad asked if I could think of a BIble verse that could help in the situation. My first thought was Philippians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." So, we talked about it, we discussed the importance of both parts of the verse, not just not being anxious, but also being thankful. We were thankful to have the time in the car to be able to pray with one another. 

We had to wait nearly an hour and a half at the doctor's office, and the longer I waited, the more I'd sit and hope and pray that all would work out with our medications. It's such a precise science, that we know we have to be careful. On the other hand, we know the Lord is in control. So, as we're waiting, the nurse came in to let us know that the doctor would be in shortly. We asked her about the medication, and let her know that we'd be willing to replace it if only they could give us a couple vials. They did not have any, but they found a specialty pharmacy that deals with IVF medications in Lake Mary (only 20 minutes from our doctor's office). You can't buy the medication we take at CVS, Walgreens or any local drugstores, so that was a miracle in itself! So, we were able to get the medication that we may (or may not) need on Tuesday. The prices were also competitive with the mail order pharmacy rates...which is helpful (the cost of the medication is extremely high). Praise God for that!

We also found out that we have about 18 follicles. Some are very small and will most definitely not have mature eggs. However, that's a great number at this point. They've asked me to come in again tomorrow to have a blood draw and ultrasound again. We're getting closer each day to the egg retrieval. My estradiol continues to climb (it was 987 today), and that is a good thing!

When we got in the car after getting the medication, I told Chad it was all I could do to keep the tears from pouring down my face. This journey has been such a roller coaster...not just this cycle, but over all of the years we've been trying to conceive. We trust in God, His plans and we are so thankful that He is with us always. 

I know that was really long, but we are feeling so thankful that the Lord worked everything out!

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